The End of Oneself: Encountering God in the Storm

At some point, we are all brought to our knees by life.

Despite all that we know, we sometimes find ourselves in situations where nothing we have learned or leaned on during other times, seems to work. This post is for those times, when all strength runs out and we turn to God in honesty and vulnerability.

🍃 Seasons That Test Our Faith

Our journey with God is marked by different seasons and times, according to His will. "For there is an appointed time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens" (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Yet even with this knowledge, nothing prepares us for how the seasons unfold, especially those that test our faith. For these, we never know how deep the waters will be, how heavy the rainfall, or how big the storm. Most times this is revealed to us when we are in the midst of it all. For some stormy seasons we may have the tools we need to stay afloat; however, for others, we barely manage to tread the water. Our faith dwindles, and hope slips from our grip.

🌊 Deep Water and Futile Efforts

Before we get to the point of utter brokenness, we all have a default set of approaches that we take to try escape to safety and familiarity. Out of desperation we seek refuge from the overwhelming currents that threaten to drown us. A lot of times we manage to do just enough to keep our heads above the water and manage to shift our focus to other things that will distract us from it all. But what happens when none of those default tools of escape work? Where do we run to when nothing and no one can pull us out of those rushing waters?

🧎🏾‍♀️Surrender

For a long time, I admired the book of the Psalm because of its poetic nature. I never fully connected with David, only just enough to gain inspiration for that day or time. However, having come to the end of my strength in one of life’s stormy seasons, the book of Psalm has become more than poetic inspiration, it has become a testament to the power of vulnerability.

David was a king and fierce warrior, yet his complete vulnerability before God was perhaps one of his most valuable attributes. He laid his heart bare, not only exclaiming praises to God but also explicitly stating his anguish and fury against whatever situation he found himself in. Many times, he came before God, questioning if God still saw him, or cared for his relief. In Psalm 22:2, he says “My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.” This sums up what it feels like when we come to the end of our strength and our tactical strategies – when nothing simply works. We feel that God has deserted us and has left us to the mercy of fate.

The key is to not shy away from these moments or even allow them to veer us away from the presence of God. Instead we are invited tarry there, to linger, and allow our soul to encounter God in that powerful moment.

God is not threatened by your honesty, for “before a word is on your tongue, He knows it completely.” (Psalm 139:4). Even when darkness engulfs you and light becomes night, to Him it will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to Him (Psalm 139:11-12). Even when you cannot see the hand of God in your life, trust His heart. His thoughts concerning you are amazing and innumerable, for if you were to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand on earth (Psalm 139:17-18). Hold on to this knowledge, and let it be a source of comfort when nothing else makes sense in life.

If you find yourself in the middle of one of life’s stormy seasons, I pray that you feel the freedom to be honest with God. He sees, He knows, and even here—especially here—He is with you.